Charleston. This place that we call home.

Emanuel A.M.E. Church, Charleston, SC

If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you know that home is a central theme that runs through many of my stories. I believe that home is a place, and it's a state of being. 

Charleston, SC is my home. I was born here, and I've lived here for most of my life. I left Charleston a few times, but it always called me back. Charleston is a heartbeat. It has a soul that you can feel. 

Charleston is also called The Holy City, and I'd always thought it was simply because of the way steeples rise up and define our skyline, but I recently read it's also because of Charleston's origins of religious diversity. 

That steeple in the background of the image below is Second Presbyterian Church. That’s where Shawn and I got married 15 years ago. 

In the foreground is Emanual A.M.E. Church, the place where nine beloved members of our community were shot dead last month during a Wednesday night Bible study.

These men and women did not know their killer. He walked inside. They welcomed him. The gunman sat with them for an hour. He says he almost didn't go through with it because they were so nice to him. But, when they concluded their Bible study and bowed their heads to pray, he shot them. 

It happened in the heart of downtown Charleston. In the middle of everything.

The men and women who were killed were also the heart of Charleston. They were also everything. Everywhere I look, I see friends who knew the victims personally. The grief is raw and real.

And, during the killer's bond hearing, family members expressed words of forgiveness. 

Forgiveness.

During these past few weeks, I've been watching and listening. I've tried in my own way to hold space for the anger and grief, and I've searched for the examples, the lessons, and the direction to point my children. I've searched for the beacons to light my own way. What I've seen gives me hope. 

All across Charleston, and across the country, bells rang. And their names were spoken. Clementa Pinckney. Cynthia Hurd. Sharonda Coleman-Singleton. Tywanza Sanders. Ethel Lance. Susie Jackson. Depayne Middleton-Doctor. Daniel Simmons. Myra Thompson.

Thank you to everyone from around the world who rang their bells in solidarity, community and unity for Mother Emanuel AME this morning. We are #CharlestonUnited! Share your videos using #ChimeWithCharleston #PrayforCharleston #CharlestonStrong

Posted by Charleston Area Convention & Visitors Bureau on Sunday, June 21, 2015

The Post and Courier captured this image of Cate and me on the day we visited Emanuel A.M.E. to pay our respects. 

Photo by Lauren Prescott of The Post and Courier. Shared with permission. See the rest of the gallery here.

One day, I will show her this photo. I want my children to know what happened. I want them to know that evil and racism exist. I want them to understand that racism can be bold and loud, and quiet and subtle. I want my children, my family, my friends, my community—all of us—to recognize racism when we see it, and not tolerate it. But also, to not be afraid of it. 

I know it's possible, because I've seen love prevail in the face of hate.

In this video that aired on NBC nightly news, Harry Smith calls what he witnessed in Charleston an "absolute absence of malice" and "America as we wish it could be." 

In a recent post by Brene Brown she writes, "When we deny our stories, they define us. When we own our stories, we get to write a brave new ending."

That's what I'm seeing. A conscious, collective owning of the past, eyes open to the impact of our history, and a powerful coming together.

(Thanks to my friend Elizabeth McLaurin Uptegrove for capturing this video.)

As with any story we write, we have to make choices about the narrative. We get to decide what to focus on. What's the central theme? 

The story my eyes are focused on right now is how people are choosing to live and love and unite and sing in the midst of, and in spite of, the darkness. 

"Clem understood that justice grows out of recognition of ourselves in each other... that my liberty depends on you being free too. He knew that the path of grace involves an open mind. But more importantly, an open heart. That's what I've felt this week. An open heart... That's what called upon right now, I think." from President Obama's eulogy for S.C. State Senator Clementa Pinckney

Open hearts. Amazing grace. That's where we find home. 

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If you'd like to make a donation to the Mother Emanuel Hope Fund and/or the Lowcountry Ministries - Reverend Pinckney Fund, you can get more information by visiting the City of Charleston website.

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