About the man you don't really know

I don't blog about him much. The man who lives in my house. The man I've known for 18 years. The man I married 13 years ago today.  

Three years ago, on our tenth anniversary, I wrote this. Last summer, I shared this. But for the most part, I keep the inner workings of my life with Shawn private. 

When we stand in the kitchen late at night talking about things that are difficult to talk about when the kids are awake, sometimes he asks, "Why don't you blog about that?" 

That, my friends, is raw and unprocessed. My husband is my sounding board for all things raw and unprocessed. He is the keeper of all of the thats in my life. And he, in his subtle and not-so-subtle ways, encourages me to stop being afraid of those things. 

Don't think because it's our anniversary I'm painting a scene of how perfect our marriage is. Because, as I mentioned, a lot of raw and unprocessed truth goes down in that kitchen. Recently, I asked him, "What are we about? Do we know what we are about?" 

He didn't answer my question. Instead he responded to my question with a series of questions which makes me crazy. But after the conversation went all over the place, we circled back around. Then he said, "I know what we're about. We're not afraid to be brave."  

I nodded in agreement. So much of our story, our love story, hinges on those words.

He listens and lets me go on and on. Sometimes he blocks my words with invisible armor. But in my private world, where scenes play out that aren't intended to be consumed on the internet, I have this person, this man, who stands with me in the kitchen.  

And when I thought about what I wanted to share with you today, about my husband, I realized it was that.