Managing anxiety in a crisis
“Pay attention girls. We don’t want to miss this.” I can’t remember exactly what she said, but I’ve been thinking about it for weeks. It was more how she said it, in her typical friendly and easy tone. It was her intention and what she meant that has stayed with me.
We had pedaled for miles, down dirt roads, sweat rolling down our bodies. The beach marked the halfway point, the intermission before we returned to the path to finish our ride.
She was gently reminding the three of us, herself included, to notice this beauty, to take it in.
What I noticed is how my mind was doing its usual chitter chatter. I noticed how these days, even when the view is incredible, it’s not easy to relax.
I also noticed how it’s not easy for me to celebrate—or give myself credit for—everything I do on the daily to hold things together. To keep life feeling joyful and hopeful, even when it’s not. It’s not easy to pause and let myself breathe and simply be.
It’s not easy. But it’s also not impossible.
All it takes is shifting gears. Activating my five senses. Actively noticing.
Since that ride on the beach, I’ve been practicing this, even when doing simple tasks like taking towels out of the dryer. I pay attention to how they feel, how they smell. The motion, the rhythm.
I ask myself, am I having a problem right now? The answer is usually no. I’m taking towels out of the dryer. In this moment, all is calm. I am okay.
Even when we pay attention to a moment, we can’t hold on to it. One moment fades into the next. Right now is always here. These days, right now is one of the few things that feels like a guarantee.
